Me: Not pregnant

Me: Honor student

Me: Not on drugs

Me: Never been in legal trouble

Me: Hard worker

Me: Not an alcoholic

Parents: Cool

Me: Forgets to put dishes in the dishwasher.

Parents: OMG You never contribute to this family. You're crazy and out of control. You never do anything right. You need to take responsibility for your stuff and this house. Be perfect.

Me: Oh okay.

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